As we approach Lent, it seems right to conclude the theme begun by my post last Friday on a positive note. So, here is some timeless advice from St Dorotheos of Gaza on how we should respond to those we disagree with, or have been hurt by, or who we believe have fallen into error or sin:
Should it happen that you see a brother doing wrong, don’t despise him and wipe your hands of him and keep silence and let him be destroyed, nor again curse him or speak ill of him. But with sympathy and the fear of God speak to someone who is able to set him up again, or you yourself speak to him with love and humility saying, ‘Pardon me, brother, but I consider – being careless myself – we probably do not act rightly in doing so-and-so.’ If he does not listen to you, speak to another in whom you see he has full confidence, or to his dean, or to the abbot, according to the gravity of the fault; but above all, as we have said, speak with a view to setting him straight again, not to gossip idly or to defame him or despise him, not, so to speak, to hold him up as a bad example, nor to condemn him or to pretend to be righteous by doing so. If a man having any of the dispositions I mentioned above speaks to the abbot himself, he is not speaking for the correction of his brother, nor is he if he speaks only on account of injury done to himself; that is a transgression, it is speaking ill of his brother. But let him grope about in his own heart and if he experiences there a movement of anger or resentment let him not speak. (From Discourse on the Fear of God)
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