Heads you win, tails I lose

If we start from the assumption that neurotypicals are ‘normal,’ and autistics are ‘disordered,’ then poor connections between neurotypicals and autistics inevitably get blamed on some ‘defect’ or ‘deficit’ in autistics. If an autistic person can’t understand a neurotypical, it’s because autistics have empathy deficits and impaired communication skills; if a neurotypical can’t understand an autistic person, it’s because autistics have empathy deficits and impaired communication skills. (Nick Walker, Neuroqueer Heresies)

To put it another way, a good deal of the disability experienced by autistic people is actually created by the failure of neurotypical society to accommodate their neurodivergence.