Hopko’s 36th maxim, ‘Speak simply, clearly, firmly, directly’, fits many autistic communication strengths when it is understood rightly. For autistic Orthodox Christians, it means letting your words be truthful, minimally complicated, and as free as possible from passive–aggressive hints, double meanings, or performative piety. It is often more loving to say, ‘I’m tired and need quiet now’, ‘I can’t take on that task’, or ‘That noise hurts me’, than to hint, endure, resent, and then melt down later.
Because autistic communication is frequently misread – ’too direct’, ‘too intense’, ‘too detailed’ – this maxim is best lived with a few gentle adjustments. You might aim for:
- Simple words and short sentences, especially when discussing conflicts or needs.
- Clear structure: say what happened, how it affected you, and what you are asking for, instead of circling the point.
- Firmness without hostility: using calm, declarative statements (‘I will need to leave by 9 p.m’.) rather than apologies for existing (‘Sorry, I’m difficult, but maybe I should go early?’).
Practically, you can prepare brief scripts for recurring situations – at church, at work, with family – so that in moments of overload you have simple, pre‑chosen phrases ready. Written or text communication can often help you keep things simple and clear when speech is hard; this still fulfils the maxim. Over time, ‘speak simply, clearly, firmly, directly’ becomes less about trying to sound like everyone else and more about allowing your God‑given autistic directness to be shaped by charity: words that are honest but not weaponized, straightforward but not contemptuous, so that those around you can actually understand you, and you can live in less confusion and resentment before God and neighbour.
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